One of the pillars in Lifestyle Medicine is social connection. This seems like a logical goal, since we humans are known to need socializing and a sense of belonging. But this seems to be a difficult goal to achieve in today’s world. 

Growing up I was painfully shy. It was so bad that I would get anxiety just thinking I would have to interact with others. School was torture for me. I was able to stay mostly invisible and still be present enough to survive it all. I was terrified of adults. They all seemed mean and judgmental. So, I was seen as a sulky teenager. That changed when I moved to Costa Rica to study medicine. I was 18 years old and living on my own for the first time. In order to survive on my own, I was sort of forced out of my shell. And it wasn’t as scary anymore. While still struggling with self-esteem and social awkwardness, I started making connections with fellow students, many of which I reconnected with decades later thanks to social media. 

After graduating from medical school and working abroad for a few years I came back to Curaçao. Then came motherhood. The most beautiful stage of my life, but also the toughest one. I was suddenly responsible for 3 tiny humans. I was also working a very stressful full-time job. Being a single mom meant I had to give up some things, and that meant that my social life took a hit. I tried to keep it up but was exhausted all the time, so I started saying “no” more to social events and invitations. Needless to say, the invitations became fewer until they stopped coming. But I was fine with it. I felt my life was full spending quality time with the kids as much as my work schedule allowed me to. 

My battle with breast cancer (see previous blog) further reduced socializing and my social circle became a tiny bubble. Only the “die-hard” friends that stuck with me through thick and thin remained. And I was still fine with it. 

In July of 2023 my life changed; I became an empty nester. Of course, this was not a surprise and I tried to prepare myself mentally for it but that first night back home after bringing the last 2 children to Holland for their studies hit me like a ton of bricks. My mom who lived with me for the past decade had also passed away 8 months prior so when I came home the silence was deafening. Now what? What am I supposed to do now? I wasn’t ready for this empty feeling. I needed to get back out there. But where to start? 

Let’s first take a look at why these socials connections are so important and what benefits they can bring. 

Physical Health Benefits 

• Increased Longevity: Strong social connections are associated with a longer life. Studies have shown that individuals with robust social networks tend to live longer than those who are socially isolated. 
• Reduced Risk of Chronic Diseases: Socially connected individuals often experience lower rates of chronic diseases, such as cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, and diabetes. 
• Better Immune Function: Social connections can boost the immune system, making individuals more resistant to infections and diseases. 
• Lower Inflammation: Positive social interactions can reduce inflammation in the body, which is linked to many chronic conditions. 
• Faster Recovery: Patients with strong social support tend to recover more quickly from surgeries and illnesses. 

Mental Health Benefits 

• Reduced Stress: Social support helps buffer against stress by providing emotional comfort and practical assistance. 
• Lower Rates of Depression and Anxiety: Strong social ties are associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety. 
• Increased Self-Esteem: Positive social interactions and relationships can boost self-esteem and confidence. 
• Enhanced Cognitive Function: Social engagement can improve cognitive function and reduce the risk of cognitive decline and dementia in older adults. 

Emotional Benefits 

• Emotional Support: Friends and family can provide empathy, understanding, and emotional support during difficult times, which can improve emotional resilience. 
• Sense of Belonging: Being part of a social network gives individuals a sense of belonging and purpose, which can enhance overall life satisfaction. 
• Positive Mood: Social interactions and connections can lead to increased levels of happiness and an overall positive mood. 

Behavioral Benefits 

• Healthier Lifestyle Choices: Social networks can influence healthy behaviors, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and adherence to medical treatments. 
• Motivation and Accountability: Social connections can provide motivation and accountability, encouraging individuals to stick to their health and wellness goals. 
• Reduced Risk of Unhealthy Behaviors: Strong social ties can reduce the likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors such as smoking, excessive drinking, and drug use. 

Community and Social Benefits 

• Increased Social Engagement: Being socially connected can lead to greater involvement in community activities and volunteer work, which can further enhance well-being. 
• Support During Crises: Social networks can provide critical support during personal or community crises, such as natural disasters or economic downturns. 
• Enhanced Social Skills: Regular social interactions help individuals develop and maintain effective communication and interpersonal skills. 

The American College of Lifestyle Medicine has the following suggestions: 

• Volunteer; helping others improves health, increases happiness and allows you to meet new people  
• Connect with a community resource center to find local options  
• Find online or community groups of those who share the same interests– meetup.com or Facebook groups are a great place to look  
• Join a religious or spiritual group  
• Help at a local animal shelter or adopt a pet to connect with other animal lovers  
• Go to a local sports event, music performance, lecture or art display  
• Help organize community events by joining a steering committee or board  
• Attend community celebrations like parades or walks  
• Take a course at your local library or community college  
• Ask your employer for ways to increase social connections at work 

So here’s what I did the past months. I have traveled and met with my old university friends. I went on some solo trips to find peace of mind (yes, connection with self is also very important!). I’ve spent more quality time with my closest friends. I have a dear friend who’s my accountability partner on a daily basis despite living abroad. I reconnected with another dear friend going to a “Back to the 80’s” party and a fundraising walk. I’ve joined Facebook groups of like-minded people, from travel groups to wellness groups. I joined dance classes. I’ve done a full moon sound healing session. I even dipped my toes in the dating pool! And it has all been very rewarding. I’m feeling better than ever and looking forward to many more social connections and activities. 

In summary, social connections are vital for maintaining and improving health and well-being across multiple dimensions. They provide emotional support, reduce stress, enhance mental health, promote healthier lifestyles, and even improve physical health outcomes. I’m continuing my journey to wellness tackling one wellness pillar at a time. Which pillar(s) do you want to tackle?