I remember the first time I faced the loss of someone close to me. It felt like my world had stopped while everyone else’s kept turning. The pain was unlike anything I had ever known, and I often wondered how I could possibly move forward.  It seemed so final, so permanent. Not being able to ever hug them again, never to hear their voice again, never to be able to ask them questions again.  

Losing someone you love is one of the most profound and challenging experiences we face. The grief that follows can be an overwhelming mix of emotions, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of how to move forward.  You may feel angry, frustrated, sad, or even completely numb. Sooner or later you, or someone close to you will be navigating this difficult path. It’s a part of life that is inevitable.  

Grief is a natural response to loss, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. The days and weeks following a loss can feel like a blur, filled with a range of emotions and a sense of disorientation. It’s important to remember that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person’s journey is different. We need to respect that when seeing others dealing with grief differently from how we deal with it. 

When a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, meaning they may come to pass soon, it’s devastating both for the loved one and everyone around them. But there’s also beauty in this. You get to spend quality time with your loved one. It’s time for love, forgiveness, emotional healing and goodbyes. But it’s also tough to see your loved one slowly fading. Like a dear friend of mine who recently lost her younger sister said: I’m seeing her light slowly fading… While we can’t even come close to comprehend what our loved one is going through, we need to embrace the fact that we get to spend their last moments in life with them. 

Sometimes the loss comes as a shock. Sudden death of a loved one is one the hardest to cope with because there is no sense of closure. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to say “I love you” one last time. Maybe your last encounter wasn’t a pleasant one. Or you haven’t been in contact for some time.  

There is no one-size-fits-all method for dealing with loss, but here are a few tips: 

Allow Yourself to Grieve 

• It’s important to acknowledge and accept the wide range of emotions you may be feeling. Grief is a deeply personal process, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. 

Seek Support 

• Lean on family and friends, join a support group, or seek professional counseling. Sharing your feelings with others who understand can provide comfort and reassurance. 

Take Care of Your Physical Health 

• Maintaining a routine, eating well, staying hydrated, exercising, and getting enough rest are all crucial to supporting your body through the stress of grief. 

Memorialize Your Loved One 

• Creating a tribute, holding a memorial service, or planting a tree in their honor can help keep their memory alive and provide a sense of peace. 

Allow Yourself Time 

• Healing from sudden loss takes time. Be patient with yourself and avoid making major decisions until you feel more stable. Don’t rush into going through your loved one’s belongings. The time will come that you can deal with it. 

Express Your Emotions 

• Writing about your feelings or talking about your loved one with others can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions. 

Find Meaning and Purpose 

• Engaging in meaningful activities or helping others can provide a sense of purpose and help distract from your own pain. 

Utilize Technology 

• Online communities and virtual therapy can be valuable resources if in-person support is not available. 

Honor Your Own Process 

• Remember that everyone grieves differently. Be kind to yourself and accept that it’s okay to have bad days. 

Prepare for Triggers 

• Anticipate difficult dates and have a support system ready to help you cope with these challenging times.  

Celebrate your loved one 

• Participate in activities they used to enjoy. Raise a glass in their honor. Tell funny stories about them. Your loved one would want to see you happy and moving forward. Keep their memory alive for they will always be with you. 

Grief can be a lonely journey, but you don’t have to face it alone. It’s a part of the human experience, and through it, we can find resilience and solidarity. One of the most powerful sources of comfort can come from connecting with others who understand what you’re going through. Sharing your experiences and hearing others’ stories can provide a sense of solidarity and support. Take each day as it comes, and know that with time, the raw pain will evolve into a softer, enduring love that stays with you always. 

In loving memory of my parents Suhandi and Stella 💕